Dealing with Birthday Depression
some useful tips
Don’t fight birthday and pre-birthday depression. Expect it, treat yourself kindly when it comes, and be aware that it does pass. Your feelings are normal and they’re part of being human. (If it doesn’t pass, then it’s something serious and you need to see a professional.)
Share how you're feeling. Tell a good friend what you're going through. Let them know that you don't want to be cheered up, just listened to! Be there for them when their birthday comes around.
Don't fight destructive thoughts. But don’t take them as gospel truth either. You are not a loser or going nowhere just because you feel sad. Simply acknowledge your negative thoughts as mental events, and stay in the present.
Take charge! What do you want to do? Whom do you want to spend your birthday with? Organise the kind of celebration that's right for you and if no-one buys you a decent present buy yourself something special. Give yourself the nurturing you need on this day.
Keep bringing yourself back to the present moment. Be aware of your body in space, your breathing and the things around you. If you feel like crying, go ahead.
Plan some special treats for yourself. Small presents, favourite experiences, a bubble bath, a massage, a morning in bed - the list goes on.
Don't try to cram the celebrations into one day. You can always see friends separately, and spread the birthday meetings over a few days or a week.
Plan around difficult relatives. If your relatives are super difficult, don't see them on your birthday - instead, arrange to catch up with them before or after the day itself. You will probably feel less sensitive than you would on your actual birthday. Or you could see your family in a different environment from usual - eg in a restaurant or on an outing if you always meet up in the family home,
Notice any small ‘gifts’ that come your way from the world. This doesn’t mean being endlessly positive or trying to make yourself feel grateful. But through the sadness it’s sometimes possible to see the bits of the birthday that are good, even if these are small or unexpected.(Sometimes the sadness can make these things stand out more.)